Kelly (kellflan)
Congrats, I may not hate you completely right about now.....
Believe it!!11
Posts: 109
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Post by Kelly (kellflan) on Oct 8, 2006 22:14:33 GMT -5
A bird flitted across the sky. A small trail of feathers followed it and floated down to the rooftops and streets below -- the bird itself was flying rather haphazardly...and had just fallen into a chimney.
Fahru rolled out with hacking coughs. She sneezed and peered through her soot-covered hair at the surprised family who had just sat down for a meal.
"Santa Claus?" A small child asked hesitatingly with the manner of a small child who is slightly hopeful but knowledgeable enough to know it was the middle of spring and Santa Clause shouldn't be in his house. Perhaps a burglar?
Fahru blinked. "Who?" She shrugged and tried not to get the floor dirtier than it had become around her. "Um, where's the door, please? Sorry for uh...yeah..."
The father wordlessly pointed to his left toward a cheery red door. She waved, still bewildered and shocked from the fall, and headed out onto the street. A blast of market noise slammed into her, which was certainly not helping her growing headache.
Doctor...yeah...this place should have one... But before finding a doctor, she needed an inn, a bath, and a glass of milk.
----
The innkeeper squinted at her suspiciously when Fahru entered and handed her a few gold coins.
"We only accept origami here," She snobbishly told the sooty customer.
Fahru blinked before scooping up her coins and dumping them back into her bag. "Where can I exchange these then?"
"At the bank, duh," She leaned over the counter and started to fuss with her curly hair.
Fahru raised her eyebrows as she turned sharply and exited, not even noticing the other customers' stares from the tavern room.
----
The bank's entrance room was small, with one side filled with desks lined in a barricade protecting the doors to the actual bank part, and the rest filled with lines.
Fahru could barely see which line she was suppose to enter, so she pulled over a chair from the form-signing area on which to stand. Blinking a few times, she noticed a distant sign pointing to the 'Exchange' line.
She sighed and resigned herself to practicing the art of waiting in line.
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Post by Kinoko on Oct 9, 2006 18:30:37 GMT -5
Kibbly was out shopping for some food at the farmers market he saw a poor little boy reaching up trying to grab an apple. The keeper of the stand saw her and started to yell at the poor little boy. Kibbly walked right up to the keeper and the little boy. He bent down and gave the poor little boy an apple. The little boy ran off happy with the apple. "Hey you can't do that!" Yelled the keeper. "I will pay for that apple sir if you just settle down." Kibbly said in a very calm voice. "Who do you think you are helping some street rat?? The Keeper said still angry but his voice was calming down. “That will blacken your name for sure.? "I help my own kind. I feel no shame in giving that little boy some food. Here is the money. You should be a little kinder to people." Kibbly handed the man the money and left to fallow the little boy. He was a cat demon in need. I could not help my self. Kibbly thought to him self. "Hey you can't do that!" Yelled the keeper. "I will pay for that apple sir if you just settle down." Kibbly said in a very calm voice. "Who do you think you are helping some street rat?? The Keeper said still angry but his voice was calming down. “That will blacken your name for sure.? "I help my own kind. I feel no shame in giving that little boy some food. Here is the money. You should be a little kinder to people." Kibbly handed the man the money and left to fallow the little boy. He was a cat demon in need. I could not help my self. Kibbly thought to him self.
...Did you double post in the same post? ... ... ...Strange.
I found more than five spelling and grammar mistakes. I'd like you to look this over and fix it. Then I want you to post a new post. Please remember that spellcheck doesn't fix everything. You have to look if over yourself. You do not pass unless you make another, better post.
Same advice as I gave to zabuza and bllaakkee. Try compounding your sentences, eh? More style.
E.g: Kibbly was out shopping for some food at the farmers market when he saw a poor little boy reaching up trying to grab an apple. The keeper of the stand saw her and started to yell at the poor little boy so Kibbly walked right up to the keeper and the little boy, bending down to give the poor little boy an apple. The little boy ran happily off with his apple."
Never mind the fact that in that one paragraph alone you had a bazillion mistakes... >> But anyways... Try that, eh?[/size] [glow=silver,2,300]...walking this road without you... remaking forgotten promises... to meet you at road's end...[/glow]
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Post by Kinoko on Oct 9, 2006 18:31:59 GMT -5
“I was walking through the streets that day, just observing and watching the children making their snowmen, having their snow ball fights, sledding down the biggest hill their parents would let them go down, all of them laughing having fun just as children do, expecting nothing more nothing less.
“I walked passed one house, two houses, three, four, then at the fifth house I saw it a huge pillar of light in the distance, the light, it changed colors.
“What colors did I see? Well it was blue, black, red, indigo, green, purple, cyan, orange, pink, magenta, and white.
“Yes that was every color I saw and in that order.
“You want my name?
“Well, sorry I can’t give you that.
“Why, because I would like to keep my confidentiality, and I see no reason for you to know.
“You require my name for your records. For your records you can just put down ‘Information from an anonymous contributor,?and if that’s not good enough for you then I’ll be forced to stop giving you information on the subject.
“Ok then, come if you want, but I won’t be here, and you’ll never find me.? Tharsus then hangs up the phone turns around, and walks off.
Sorry, right off the bat I could see there's no need to read further. We don't use the first person perspective to RP, remember? So please fix this post and post a new one. You will not be able to pass until you do. Thank you.[/size] [glow=silver,2,300]...walking this road without you... remaking forgotten promises... to meet you at road's end...[/glow]
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Post by Kinoko on Oct 9, 2006 18:32:48 GMT -5
Trust me when I say this children....OOC: Well, since admins do have to participate. -.- I'm lazy, so I'm going to use Desiree's RP sample. It's a bit altered from the original. All hail Lemony Snicket! X3 A strange looking girl walked on the edge of a cliff. As she looked down, she was hit with a splash of spray from the foaming gray waves. It was dawn, just after a thunder storm that had poured rain on her last night. She had to use her wings as a shield from the heavy drops. This beach was all rocky, and nothing like the tropical beaches that she heard the Cats lived on. Ame lightly flapped her wings on Desiree's right shoulder. Up there with the smell of sea salt, and the cool breeze, she was allowed temporary relief from her constant worries. The never ending sheet of gray sky allowed her to form a gray fog in her mind. If she didn't think, she didn't worry. If she didn't worry, she could relax. The world was quiet here. Her Grandmother always said that the place where you find peace, is a place where the world is truly quiet. This must be one of those places. Temporary as it was, it was somehow stable to her. She started wondering what about this simple, yet awe-inspiring place could make it feel stable. Or did a place EVER feel stable? She prayed to God that she could just sit up there for years on end, this picture never changing. She sat like this for hours. The fog, mist, and clouds blocked the sun's rays, making hours seem like mere minutes. Finally a break in the clouds came, the picture's paint starting to run. The paranoia was soon to come back. Then she felt it. A single tear dropped down, her eyes becoming the cold, frozen look she always had to shield herself. No amount of fire or warmth would change them. Stop, drop, and roll doesn't work in Hell.
Nice, I like it. XD Who's Desiree again? XDD[/size] [glow=silver,2,300]...walking this road without you... remaking forgotten promises... to meet you at road's end...[/glow]
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Post by Kinoko on Oct 9, 2006 18:33:39 GMT -5
There are precisely two types of creatures residing in a dilapidated place we call home, and only two. One category is composed of the humans, both a pusillanimous and brazen species so decadent that they have become half of two, but never whole of one. Lacerated marks of nine etched upon skin so pallid to be presumed dead. That is what humans are constituted of, deleterious outrecuidance. Obsequious creatures extolling a deity with remarks of underlying invidiousness. Duplicitous termagants and contumacious, porcine ingrates. Blood imbruing the carpet. Pity, Lydia was rather fond of them. Ah, but she should not digress from the matter at hand. What of the other type? Why, the demons, of course! Vagrant beings forever on a peregrination through tenebrous abyss, from the inception of each epoch to imminent apocalypse. Shadowed by caliginous silk of undulating drapes that portend an inauspicious denouement for all. Yet, the adumbration of tomorrow is cleverly sealed within the vast tomes of today. Sometimes, mortality is better than immortality. An asomatous existence lingering eternally lost upon ashes. Maculated souls. For all the trenchant wit and affluence to offer as oblation, the naufragous storm will always strike. Futile to control fate. Perhaps, just perhaps, Lydia mused. Maybe hope is still present. She smiled, perfidious, anteric queen unsheathing the dagger to plunge into a misadventured lover's throat. "Oh, you're no fun." A pout graced incarnadine lips. Rubescent cheeks titivated for an interment. Beneath a sanguinary sun and prostrated underneath the besmirched yew, there lies a man who intrepidly endeavored to dominate what was preordained. Repugnant fool. Unmitigated impertinence. [OOC] It is approximately one in the morning as I'm rapidly typing this. Talk about infelicitous. >.< I really should be working on my bio homework -gags- or flashfics. Ah, enough with the martyr complex. Ahem, anyway, I suppose that pitiable junk I posted can be considered as a sample. I am incorrigibly aeolistic. I apologize for my remiss actions regarding this forum. I am back and willing to attempt ostensibly unfeasible feats to redeem myself. Ha, like that'll ever work. ^_^ [OOC]
Hey, I enjoyed your post, so whatever. ^^ You pass, great job!! ^^[/size] [glow=silver,2,300]...walking this road without you... remaking forgotten promises... to meet you at road's end...[/glow]
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Post by Kinoko on Oct 9, 2006 18:36:06 GMT -5
OOC: First thing, I like Vehemence, such a vocabulary . Second thing, this character isn't technically approved, but I need to be purged so I'm gonna do it anyway. Darkness, the night cradled the Wraith mansion with its omnipresent embrace. It alone bore witness to the horror within. Damian, the sole resident, was wracked with torment. His screams had been going so long now, his voice could no longer utter them and he could merely gag at the pain. The armor he'd found, he'd sculpted, he'd owned, now owned him. He flew throughout his home, scraping against walls, the wallpaper and plaster peeled off going right into the inner workings of the home. Furniture was overturned, windows cracked and broken, fine sculptures and artwork laid wasted upon the floor. It was the scene of madness. He reeled, his eyes bloodshot, he couldn't even think of anything but the pain, and the laughter. Hideous, horrid, deep and never-ending laughter. It echoed through his halls and his mind, constantly adding new verses to the cacophony of the nightmarish laughter. It was like thousands, all mocking him, mocking his fear and is anguish. He struck at everywhere he heard it coming from, in a futile attempt to silence it. So great was his effort, that blood dripped from the walls, the floor trailed it all along his path, it slowly crept its way from within the armor itself and dripped from the cracks in the plate. His body was drenched in it now, all shed from his own actions. He could not stop, he could not rest, his life was nothing but the pain and torment. At last, the day came. The sun's feeble rays penetrated into his house and recoiled at the travesty within. Clouds soon rolled in, covering the sun's light to shield it from the madness. But within, was the laughter, only now it had changed. What was before a gallery of jeers, was now a focused, calm sound. It echoed from the source, one voice. There he sat, on a throne made from the maddened destruction of his own home. Damian, he now laughed, triumphant. He now mocked that which mocked him, for he had survived. "Now," he spoke at last, blood falling from his lips at every word "That the introductions are done, Wraith, I think its time we finally got to business. Show me that power, that power that drove me to madness." He laughed, and laughed, and laughed until his body collapsed from exhaustion. But his smile still remained, the same smile of the original Wraith, a curved wicked grin of sadistic glee. And still, echoing in silence, the laughter continued, Damian could hear it still with in the corridors of his mind. The laughed, was it the Wraith? No, not that human. It was the Wraith, the armor, it was fear itself laughing at him. Laughing.......... and laughing.........
Nice. I'll say I'm impressed, no offense, it was more than I ever expected from you. Good job. One or two minor spelling mistakes, nothing to worry about. You pass.
How come all your characters are psychopaths?[/size] [glow=silver,2,300]...walking this road without you... remaking forgotten promises... to meet you at road's end...[/glow]
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Post by Kinoko on Oct 9, 2006 18:36:43 GMT -5
[OOC] I think I¡¯m far too fond of impromptu writing. This is what I call being supererogatory. ^_^ Well, since Kinoko didn¡¯t propose a limit to the number of samples we have to provide, here I go¡again. Warnings: I have an inexorable predilection for drabbles and the notorious ¡°esoteric expressions¡± Surmounting the story-like style for RP-ing is another quandary. [OOC] EpistleHeels clicked across frigid marble, rustling satin succeeding each punctiliously placed shoe. The orotund perorations of this earl or that marquis were so consonant with the commensurately stentorian lord or king. Almost preternatural. Arcane tales of grotesquely malformed monstrosities that engrossed them twisted into unwholesome confabulations. Indeed, they seemed to have a proclivity for insalubrious discourses. Horrid are contretemps, verboten should they ever eventuate. Better to drink some preprandial, nocuous wine from a relucent alembic than suffer humiliation. Amenities, the elixir of complaisant fools. For all the ostentatious etiquette in the world, plebeians they would forever remain. She shuddered, strange, for the night was rather warm, and a languorous breeze brought the branches into oscillation. Tergiversating between pharisaic principles, only to never glimpse at the truth. Yet, what is the truth? A thing that would never be disseminated. Each side implemented subterfuges to preclude the other from knowing. Some quagmires cannot be obviated. A histrionic sigh escaped her. The white contrasted prodigiously against suffocating, lugubrious obsidian. What was written on paper could be expunged, but stone was another matter. The world was tranquil on this single night, and she could prescind from decorum. An ephemeral, halcyon bliss soon to be eradicated. All too quickly, expeditiously executed. Lydia wrote rapidly, dripping scratches from the tip. An immurement fallaciously painted. Veneration for a tutelary apparition. Exprobation for the delirious child. She was so beleaguered by their remonstrations. Ramifications of caprice always left a piquant memory behind them. ¡°May you ascend to perennial paradise.¡± The parchment began to burn. [OOC] You may animadvert on this. It's weird, even I admit that. [OOC]
Hrm... I should've said somewhere... I'm not grading this, I graded your other one!! >:/[/size] [glow=silver,2,300]...walking this road without you... remaking forgotten promises... to meet you at road's end...[/glow]
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Post by Kinoko on Oct 9, 2006 18:38:03 GMT -5
A bird flitted across the sky. A small trail of feathers followed it and floated down to the rooftops and streets below -- the bird itself was flying rather haphazardly...and had just fallen into a chimney. Fahru rolled out with hacking coughs. She sneezed and peered through her soot-covered hair at the surprised family who had just sat down for a meal. "Santa Claus?" A small child asked hesitatingly with the manner of a small child who is slightly hopeful but knowledgeable enough to know it was the middle of spring and Santa Clause shouldn't be in his house. Perhaps a burglar? Fahru blinked. "Who?" She shrugged and tried not to get the floor dirtier than it had become around her. "Um, where's the door, please? Sorry for uh...yeah..." The father wordlessly pointed to his left toward a cheery red door. She waved, still bewildered and shocked from the fall, and headed out onto the street. A blast of market noise slammed into her, which was certainly not helping her growing headache. Doctor...yeah...this place should have one... But before finding a doctor, she needed an inn, a bath, and a glass of milk. ---- The innkeeper squinted at her suspiciously when Fahru entered and handed her a few gold coins. "We only accept origami here," She snobbishly told the sooty customer. Fahru blinked before scooping up her coins and dumping them back into her bag. "Where can I exchange these then?" "At the bank, duh," She leaned over the counter and started to fuss with her curly hair. Fahru raised her eyebrows as she turned sharply and exited, not even noticing the other customers' stares from the tavern room. ---- The bank's entrance room was small, with one side filled with desks lined in a barricade protecting the doors to the actual bank part, and the rest filled with lines. Fahru could barely see which line she was suppose to enter, so she pulled over a chair from the form-signing area on which to stand. Blinking a few times, she noticed a distant sign pointing to the 'Exchange' line. She sighed and resigned herself to practicing the art of waiting in line.
Kelly, I still don't get how you manage to be hilarious without even writing something funny. Hrm. XD You pass. ^^ Your post was entertaining. ^^[/size] [glow=silver,2,300]...walking this road without you... remaking forgotten promises... to meet you at road's end...[/glow]
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illusionmaster
Congrats, I may not hate you completely right about now.....
Fear me for I am small!
Posts: 176
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Post by illusionmaster on Oct 9, 2006 19:06:55 GMT -5
My post wan't first person its just a different type of third person.
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Evagorn
Congrats, I may not hate you completely right about now.....
Changed so quickly, but this one is way awesome!
Posts: 270
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Post by Evagorn on Oct 9, 2006 21:51:35 GMT -5
Kinoko, to answer you're question, I'm kind of an insane person myself. But more accurately, I like the mentality, the ability to say and do whatever I want and twist it as much as I can. Its kind of, liberating you know? Plus, it makes for REALLY entertaining reading
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Post by Azure Sea on Oct 10, 2006 20:20:51 GMT -5
Gorn, do it too much and it gets annoying though. Really depends on how you go aout it that makes it entertaining. Illusion, get over and just do another post. Kinoko, I should smack you for taht one. I know I haven't used her too much, but she's right there in my signature!! -_-+
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illusionmaster
Congrats, I may not hate you completely right about now.....
Fear me for I am small!
Posts: 176
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Post by illusionmaster on Oct 10, 2006 21:15:58 GMT -5
Azure my problem now isn't that she said that it is in first person it's that the way she said it sounded as if she only read like 3 lines into it then made her judgement.
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Kelly (kellflan)
Congrats, I may not hate you completely right about now.....
Believe it!!11
Posts: 109
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Post by Kelly (kellflan) on Oct 10, 2006 21:58:45 GMT -5
Oh okay then. *sweatdrop* Sorry! I originally couldn't find it so I used the copied one.
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illusionmaster
Congrats, I may not hate you completely right about now.....
Fear me for I am small!
Posts: 176
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Post by illusionmaster on Oct 10, 2006 22:16:09 GMT -5
look at the original post the quoted one has problems
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Foxicle
Congrats, I may not hate you completely right about now.....
Pirate fox
Posts: 214
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Post by Foxicle on Oct 11, 2006 17:14:59 GMT -5
Thetiqua peered over her fence to see if Hanshou had gone away. She let out a deep sigh. Her ultimate fear was Hanshou and lettuce. It was a good thing Hanshou's customers didn't know that. *cough, cough* She saw a little boy with a lollipop going up to the house and knocking on the door.
"Awww....how cute."she squealed, and decided not to scare away the boy. She went up to the boy and gave him a fortune cookie. The boy pointed his finger at her and said, "Fox lady." Thetiqua's eyes went wide and then she suddenly remembered the boy from the cafe.
"Oh..it's you. Why are you going over to Hanshou's parlor?"
The boy transformed into a handsome fox demon(of course) and the lollipop turned into a rose. "Is that for me?"Thetiqua asked.
"No...it's just a prop."He threw it aside.
She revealed her demi form and brushed back her silver hair."Typical of you."
The fox demon broke the fortune cookie in half and read the fortune. "A hunter is on your heels. And my lucky numbers are 3, 19, 42, and 67." "Jeck Sharp Eye?"Thetiqua inquired. "Jeck Sharp Eye." Thetiqua pulled his tail. "Deal with it. Don't bother Hanshou with this one."
OOC: I'm too lazy to type up a new RP. So here is an old one. It's the beginning post for the Life With Hanshou thread actually. ^^ Right now, I just wanna read Nana so I might not post all that much.
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